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Girls from Terra
Incognito
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INTRODUCTION
Who am I? I'm a Russian boy of middle age (39) who lives in Ukraine, real
Terra Incognito for Western people, especially Americans. Why Terra Incognito?
See, the western part of ex-USSR is a biggest European country now (Russia
is sooner Asian one than European, look at the map) around the geometrical
center of the good old Europe with population equal France, 1000-years
history and etc., but many many Western people know nothing of it! If you
are interested—turn your computer on and dive into the Web to Yahoo, for
example.
So, I was an expert space engineer, graduated from U. in rocket engines
and aircraft. Worked as a qualified design engineer. But in 1996 when economics
crashed in this country they began to hold back wages, mine, for example
up to 6 months! I took my discharge and got the salary as 22 big cartoon
boxes of incandescent lamps (the enigmatic word “Barter”!), sold them on
the streets and got some money to buy a Pentium-100. I knew nothing of
these new things excepting button ON/OFF. I had neither modem nor even
phone at my Home those times,-- another enigmatic word “Deficit” gotten
as heritage of the ex-USSR. Happily, in couple of months I got a phone
and then a modem, the good old US Robotics, cheapest one but fast and very
reliable. I began studying the Web.
Buying the comp I thought to study myself the modern technology and
find a better job. Alas, times went but it didn't became better. Till that
I dreamed like many many high-educated Soviet people to move away, to somewhere
like the US or Western Europe. I even began studying English myself after
abrupt passing of the USSR. But I had got a family, wonderful wife-Ukrainian
(by the way, I believe sincerely Ukrainian women are most beauty ones all
over the world!) and two kids. Too big baggage. But why I cannot help someone
else to do it and make some money for myself? I said I made. After some
surfing in the Web I found what I sought—the greatest One-and-Only server.
Their site was designed not very professionally, its stability leaves to
be better especially last times, when they have run more than 1,000,000
people through it, but they were great those days.
To get my hand in this I got a young lady, a friend of my wife, 20-y.o.
orphan and tried to find a good man for her, certainly for free. You don't
believe me, but I tried 300 men for her or so! She sat by my side and I
interpreted and translated for her, typed and emailed again and again.
My wife and me took all this very close. Though the attempt was not successful
by some reasons, nevertheless in several weeks I got precious experience.
Remember, I didn't know the western world at all by that and our mentalities
turned out to be very very different. So, from very beginning I learnt
that: American men (and there were 80% responses from the US) were very
childish (in some fields of life, though, not in making money, though),
stupid, naive, romantic mainly. They become ready to marry in best case
by 38, often by 40 or even 45-y.o. Yeah, great mostly of them had been
married and divorced and it is not surprising for me—why. I’d say American
men grow up two times slower than Ukrainian / Russian men, me, for example,
was ready to marry and did it when I was 22 and I still remember my views
those days for family. I do know, many Americans married in my age and
live happily, too. But there was the tendency looking from here. Decidedly,
they have virtues too as compared with Slavic men, too, they drink and
smoke far less, much richer, maybe more affectional and with no doubt much
more tolerant. But remember, this business, yes, it is business, but it
was very differently those times than now, more romantic, ordering brides
were implied Oriental girls. So, I was first in this field in my city when
I got the experience and began working.
1. 1997- BEGINNING
So, I began working. I needed single or divorced women to know of me. I
used some local papers for this, I put ads there like:”Getting acquainted
through Internet”. Remember, tenor of my business was to help women who
had no computer (having read the chapter you will understand why so few
people over here have their own computers), moreover connected to Internet,
often not speaking English or other languages excepting Russian and Ukrainian
to find right man abroad to marry him. At any case I saw this way. Certainly,
the life brings its corrections. By that time, I had some imagination why
and what Ukrainian (Russian),-- I guess many of you don't see any difference
between Ukrainian and Russian people still, ok, I will tell of this some
later. Right now I say only, though I am a Russian, I don't like the last
too much and prefer Ukrainian, they are more patient and tolerant, closer
to western mind, I guess, you can see this around Chechnya, for example.
Well, back to our women.
As I said, I was first in the city who began to do it, at any case
taking into consideration ads in local yellow and other papers. They began
phoning to me. Oh, heavens! Some days it was tens calls so I could see
how much single and divorced women were and I spoke with many of them for
tens minutes, but only a few per cents of them came to me. Why? Some reasons
I had guessed of, some were real discovery for me. I will not separate
them now, so just listen. Only 5% women (here and then I speak of single
and divorced ones) or so are ready to move abroad. It's fear before language
barrier, other culture, mental laziness, patriotism, separation with close
relatives and friends in different combinations. Besides that many of these
5% had no money to run this. Just introduction in everyday life economics.
Average salary in Ukraine is $40-60 per month, at the same time mostly
prices are like western, excepting dwelling. (I got $100 per month as very
qualified engineer before my discharge). To make right image of her and
put the ad with a photo in Web plus analyses and gathering information
from 20 responders she to be able to make her choice costs $20. Then first
20 letters (from here and there) I translate by average price in this city--
$1 per thousand symbols so, average letter cost $2, so a lady should have
at least $60 odd money or so to try her destiny. These 20 letters turn
out enough he and she fell in love with each other, and he pays then for
their corresponding. I tried to work with some unemployed girls for free,
too, hoping to get money later from their boy-friends, but after losing
$250 I stopped the practice. Those times I trusted western men, I thought
“well, the boys grew up in civilized world, they have habit to honest business,
unlike ours wild capitalism times, so I can trust them”. Oh, boys! How
much I was naive, they were the same trickers as people over here, if there
is no policeman nearby to catch your hand and no court, every millionaire
could turn into pilferer!
Besides that, I noticed, if girl doesn't pay for her choice she often
begin flying in clouds, she looks for a prince from a fairy tale, rich
young beauty blue-eyed blond.
Well, after some failures I learnt one more thing—whom western men
looked for. At first, she should be younger 40. The point is every man
tries to find a lady 10-20 years younger, average it is 17 years difference
(my statistics), so 40+17=57. But rather few 57-y.o. men or older are familiar
with computers and Internet. Besides that it is pure psychological moment,
when you type figures in search windows YOUNGER and OLDER your choose round
figures. So, if I saw later that woman looks very well but she is 42, I
typed in her ad 40 and all worked the best. It was only lie that I used.
From other hand, I had problems with young girls, 20-30. See, she wants
to find a right man to marry him, but men with reasonable difference in
age (<15, by ex-soviet mentality even 5 years difference is too big
for spouse!) are poor and childish, they often even cannot pay for correspondence,
what say of his visiting here to meet in persons and getting her there
through MASS of paper work! Actually only ladies of 32-40 with two or at
least one children have good chance to marry, younger ladies have chance
to pick feathers off someone, though. And one more, western men don't like
Slavic successful women, maybe because they are very like American women
(job, carrier, super activity, fitness, sports—all these leaves too little
place for family, kids and love).
2. TEMPTED ROMANTIC
My first successful job with a pretty bosomy 42-y.o. blonde with one adult
son. She needed no special photos from Artist, it was enough some amateur's
pictures made on lake where she was dressed in swimming suit, she didn't
adopt special poses, she just was herself and it was enough. The lady knew
perfectly how to use men. She had not been divorced (de jure) and shared
a flat with her son and former (?) husband. She had not very many responses
but enough to get right choice. But it turned out to be too hard task for
her. She liked two men, very different ones and she could choose finally
between them even after one visited her here. Relations with one of them
grew fast just incredibly. Falling in love right within a week.
But she went on corresponding with both of them till the end. Another
man was for her sooner something like Platonic Love. Their correspondence
was like Turgenev’s lines. Very poetic, no hot feeling, only romantic love
what might be only in early youth or in golden age… Both of the men transferred
money to her to pay for correspondence and for living. She paid me from
this money personally and one day she asked a discount for correspondence
with one of them to save more money for herself. Surely, I refused, there
was some break in correspondence and in a week I was forced to explain
these men why the silence took place. You can guess what's happened. Then
she capitulated but it was too late…
She was not typical my client, though, frankly speaking, almost everyone
was very special. But great mostly of them were family-oriented with classical
family values. Kids, loving husband, loyalty, very advertent to kids and
husband, even pure bitch (by our measures) often struck foreigner with
such advertency during their meeting in person. It's a national feature
of both Russian and Ukrainian women. But there was something from Anna
Karenina in this blonde, maybe too much romanticism and love. In spite
of she was not high-educated, only comprehensive school and worked as machine
operator, she was deeply intelligent, tactful and sensitive person by nature.
There was some more shortcoming for her—mental laziness, she speak English
badly and I asked her many times, almost forced, to learn English. Try
to imagine how she and her boyfriend communicated when he visited here,
just language of Love, nothing more.
Nevertheless, she was one of few my clients who came into my family
as friends. Not very close friend, but enough to change visits during her
boyfriend’s visit here. Sometimes I think I was not very unfair with her.
I think all might go another way if there was not a small frailty of her
boyfriend (as she told my wife he had not been a lover in bed). Well, I
don't try to worm into problems of such kind, despite of my job was like
psychoanalyst's or psychiatrist's one, I feel rather uneasy to speak with
my clients of this (I am a man, however, and they are women). But I am
quite conscious there was no chance there to create a strong, happy family
and I just hastened the climax, having lost my gain, by the way.
Was it success or failure? Who knows… The man, that came here was disappointed
in women next time, maybe last one in his life. She gained nothing excepting
a few hundred dollars (it is not so bad, though) and, the main, she (and
her boyfriends, I believe, too) got greatest feelings, she told me some
times of her gratefulness for diving into special atmospheric of Love,
romantic, spring… Alas, my pen is far from Mopassan’s or Balzak’s
one to describe it perfectly.
3. LYING BEAUTY
Next conspicuous figure in a row of my clients was a younger, 35-y.o. lady,
she worked as a nurse but looked like a real model, with her daughter of
16 dreaming to become a model. She looked like a movie star and like many
stars was rather fool. Nevertheless she could chipper English, read simple
letters in English but she wrote her mails only in Russian and even this
was severe trial for her. She lived abroad for some time, at Cyprus, and
she thought her future life should be like resort. Her first partner was
a very pragmatic man, he paid for the correspondence, having offered to
use the money very economically—one small letter per week (!) With no doubts,
she didn't like him. He was rather rich man, but dim, a senior official,
had big renting real estate, rather ugly (especially in comparison with
her) and certainly older, 50 or so. I am not sure was she ready to marry
him some day or not, possibly, to move abroad she should do it. Though,
nobody could judge her, he frankly tried to buy a beautiful “Barby” having
no special feeling for her and being far unlike “Ken”. The dénouement
of the story was inscrutable if not tragic, he sent her $400 she to get
passport, visa, tickets for meeting in a third country and disappeared.
I don't believe a man of such kind could just forget of his money, but
the same place and time that he had a business trip there was a plane crash.
It's only hypothesis, though. The lady did not sorrow very long if not
to say at all. She spent the money to buy a luxury dress for her daughter
(to take part in model competition) and came to me again with no cent to
look for next victim or her destiny.
Next victim – an Englishman was more happy, at least he came to see
her in this country and I hope enjoyed her for some money that she would
pull from his pocket. As she told me some years later oh, what a bad man
he was, I was so unhappy! But I don't know the details—to save money she
used another email service. But in a couple of years she came to me again!
But she had one more foreign friend, she found him via her friend living
in Holland or so. She went there, but… he turned out to be too poor to
provide her and her adult daughter and studying of the last!
Anyway, finally she came to me again. She found a couple of old man,
one of them said he was 53 but looked at his photos like 70, it didn't
prevent to write to him tender mails. She worked with these two men for
a while using my service for emailing (she had learnt English some more
by the time and needed not translation) but then again left me completely,
probably having found some more cheaper service.
To Be Continued...
Sorry for mistakes and slips of the pen, the chapters were not proofread
or polished or edited to publish.
Ukrainian Adam-i-Eva Computer Dating Studio
